Why people have extramarital affairs?
Speak about a loaded issue that no one wants to speak about, that’s it. Amusing thing, married dating have been going on ever since millennium. Extramarital affairs can be fraught with problems, cause misery, and other harms. Also you have to wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and openness matter, money, age dissimilarity, faith background, shame, and on and on. I expect there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this post I will define an affair as a long term, maybe decades long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, dating married men.
Why do married people have affairs? There are as many reasons as there are seeking affairs. I think mostly though it is only the human nature, the need for liking, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and cherished. Here are a several explanations I have run across.
In nature we as humans are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasant and exciting, and sex makes us get away the world for a short period of time. This euphoria exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Some people can turn the desire on and off, some are brilliant at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and elder, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the pursue. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the caring for another being, for some it is the longing to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the whole romance thing. These desires and yearnings can be so strong they prevail over the taboos humanity has erected against married dating. For many individuals the yearnings will overcome their fears and make them risk the fury of not only their family, but society as well. So why, what is the means?
Sex Addicts, perhaps some of us are. Sex is terribly pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of physically motivated sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not wound your spouse or anyone else? You will need to minimize the threat you are taking. If you have the approach that a good affair is one that is beneficial to all, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the major grouping, very big in fact. There are many couples whose marital relationships is over, but they feel comfy in the manner they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Then there are the children to look after. Your finances are so entangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to live jointly besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical reasons that stop them completing the sex operation, at least not with their othere half. An marital affair sometimes solves the problem while keeping the marriage undamaged.
Ignoring, sorrowfully this is a regular cause I fear. One or the other, as a rule the gentleman is sexually neglecting his female for a tones of reasons. As a male I truly am thankful to you guys neglecting your ladies and making them obtainable to us males of romance, making them “milfs” Though I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Then there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not only neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just missing in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Maybe its romance that is missing, could be it is a shortage of love, could be caring is vanished, maybe it is the closeness, maybe neglect. Could be we have simply grown distantly, our common concerns diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my ages, is contradictory of what you want. Could be I simply do not know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that sensation that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The number one reason people give is, they seek the excitement that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to get away, for financial gain, for retribution and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.
Tags: affairs, Dating, dating married people, extramarital affairs, Marriage, married dating, seeking an affair